Topes! August 2009

Topes (tow'-pays)

Mexico's jaw-crunching, neck-snapping,
head-bonking, gut-wrenching,axle-busting
speed bumps that also function as an alternative to stop signs

AND, are highly more effective.

There are several different classifications of topes:

1. The Homemade Tope: this is the one where some neighborhood folks get together and slap a little concrete across the road then stick a few rows of jagged stones into it. Pretty effective, actually.
   

2. The Compassionate Tope: this is the gentle sloping tope which encompasses
several feet from start to finish.


3. The Hidden Tope: shaded by trees or buildings or covered in mud or dirt.

4. The Painted Tope: thankfully someone paints SOME of them.

5. The Unpainted Tope: notice how slow traffic is going. . .effective little buggers, they are.


6. The Discriminating Tope: these topes are selective. They only apply to one lane of traffic.
So, guess what drivers do. . .they swerve into the oncoming lane to avoid the tope.
No surprise there, huh?




7. And last, but not least. . . the ¡Hijole!!! Tope: this is the one that will send you to the
emergency room strapped to a backboard
and your car to the mecánico with a broken axle,
if you miss it at a high rate of speed.



The reality is, there are only two kinds of topes.

The ones you see in time and the ones you don't!

Even if it means being known as a backseat driver, good friends will yell "TOPE!!" if it looks like you are talking too much, driving too fast or otherwise not paying enough attention and are about to miss an approaching killer looking tope. God bless 'em.

My Mexican friends tell me there are several steps to having the municipality install a legal tope in your neighborhood.

First you need to present yourself to the municipality and register a complaint. The municipality will then come out to your location and place a small sign on a post with directions for traffic to slow down.

Two weeks later when that has no effect, you must return to the municipality to complain again. At this time, the small sign will be replaced with a much larger one.

Two weeks later when that produces no results, you return again to the municipality and are told that a tope will now be installed at your requested location. You and your neighbors wait.

One day a crew will arrive and construct a tope. Upon completion, the neighbors will take up a collection and hand an extra 200 pesos over to the chicos that have just finished building your tope and for that, they will add an extra 2" peak of concrete to the top. Thus giving birth to the ¡Hijole!! tope.

Happy Motoring!

Uh Oh. This Is Not Good. Update 1 August 2009

One week later. . .

Well, they definitely are building next door. It will be a house - infinitely better than an eventos (rental fiesta hall) - 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 stories with the bedrooms upstairs; kitchen, living room, dining room downstairs. Patios and garden in front.

They began by clearing the weeds. Then they hauled all the basura, rocks, and escombro (rubble) from the lot into the street in front and a big truck arrived at the end of the day. They loaded it and it was all hauled away. The street was spotless after they left.

Then they began digging approximately a 4 foot deep by 3 foot wide trench along the perimeter of the property. A load of big rocks arrived and was expertly dumped directly in front of the lot, missing my car by a good 25 feet. Uh huh!

The workers are incredibly quiet, respectful, and hard working. There are only a handful of them and they bag up their garbage at the end of the day and take it off with them. There are no portable radios blasting banda music. The jefe (boss/contractor) is a middle age Mexican man, very polite and nice to his workers. He does not arrive in a late model SUV, talk on a cell phone, or stay 15 minutes then disappear for a couple of days/weeks. He is here all day, working alongside the 3 or 4 young men that are his crew. Very impressive. They start at 8, take a break for desayuno (breakfast) at 10, another for comida (main meal of the day) and siesta at 2 and leave the premises, then arrive back again and begin work at 4, and go until about 6 or 7.

"Señor, I asked, are there a lot of alacran (scorpions)?"
"¡Si, MUCHO!" He said.
Eeeeeuuuuu. Scorpions don't like being disturbed and often go on the march when there is construction. I envision them scaling the walls into my garden of Eden.
Eeeeeuuuuu.
"¿Hay ratones (mice)?" I asked.
"Si. Pero no mucho." He said.
Sigh.

Stay tuned and we will enjoy - or not - this home as it evolves Mexico style.

Things that make you go hmmmmm . . . Aug 2009

I know. MT was puzzled too. What do you think is going on here?

Write a comment with what you think is happening here. Winner gets. . .ummmm. . .
hold on. . .mmmm. . .winner gets. . .I'll think of something!

The Talking Watch Caper August 2009

"You know what I want to do?" asked Peggy, over a Sunday breakfast with friends.
"What?" I asked.
"I want to give every blind person around the lake a Talking Watch in Spanish. Even if it doesn't matter what time it is to some of the elderly Mexican people, they will hear a voice every time they push the button and they will know someone cares about them!"
"I can help you do that." I said.

Peggy is an 89 year old American woman who has lived here in Jocotepec, off and on, for over 30 years. She raised her children here, returned to the states, remarried, traveled with her husband, then they returned to Jocotepec to live many years ago. She is a very dear person.

"I can't get around very well anymore, you do the leg work and I'll buy the watches." Said Peggy. "Deal!" I said.

The first thing we had to figure out was how many blind people there might be tucked away in back rooms and hovels in some of these little pueblos along the lake. Then, where we would buy the watches. As luck would have it, it turns out the watch vendor at the Thursday tianguis (farmers market) in Jocotepec carries them! Wow, how cool is that, we don't have to import them. Win win win.

Hector said "If you buy all the watches from me I'll give them to you for 40 pesos each." I quickly calculated $3.00 US, can't do much better than that!
Now to find the blind people. . .

Since Diabetes is an epidemic here in Mexico, we figured there would be no shortage of blind people. We were right, unfortunately.

I called Jean Dresslar from the Lake Chapala Society Talking Books Program as well as DIF (which is an acronym for Mexico's health and family services program), Centro Salud (the Mexican government health clinic) and a few people I knew who were involved with the community and everyone began compiling lists of blind people by towns. We agreed to distribute the watches in Jocotepec and others volunteered to do it in Chapala, Ajijic, and the Lake Chapala south shore.

Armed with several pages of smudgy pencil written names and POSSIBLE addresses, the best part of this whole thing began.

Peggy, her son Rob, and I set out one day with a big bag of watches, instructions, and Hector's business cards. Hector promised to repair and change batteries in the watches as needed. The first address was finally located - no easy feat in a country that doesn't necessarily use street addresses. Took several minutes and the help of the mechanic next door to gain entry and meet José. José said he thought we were the local priest who comes every day to give him communion or his sister who comes twice a week on the bus from Guadalajara with groceries.

The house was clean and most of the furniture had been piled on the couch in the living room, I guess to keep him from falling as he shuffles around with his cane in the darkness. I explained what we were doing in his house and handed the watch over to him. He reached up and took Peggy's face between his hands and muttered "Gracias." All of our eyes welled up and we were on our way to the next recipient with full hearts.

Maria lived alone in a one room pile of rubble and rocks. She had another little indoor/outdoor room with a sink and some neighborhood kids were washing her clothes for her. Maria has only one foot and lives on a rank and stained bare mattress with her humble belongings stacked neatly on the other half of the mattress. She was a doll. She was full of personality and gratitude when we put her watch on for her. When we were ready to leave, she asked over and over when we would be coming back to visit her again. I will do that.

Another Maria, who lives in a room just off an interior garden, in San Cristóbal on the south shore, had vision better than some of the others, but qualified for our gift in other ways. She was a peach and we spent the better part of the afternoon with her getting a blow by blow description of her beautiful garden. We have returned to visit her and Larry brought her cuttings and plants from his garden. She is delightful. Here she is proudly showing off her new watch.

The next recipient was a young man who I ran into on the street. He lives here in Joco and walks around town with one arm draped over the shoulder of his sister. His eyes are milky gray orbs. He told me he had been living in the US and became sick with a virus that ultimately took his vision. He was broke and alone in the US and unable to work. His family here in Jocotepec saved their pesos until they had enough to get up to CA and bring him home. That's how it is here, that's why I love it here.

There were many more recipients, too many to list. One guy I stopped on the street had a huge basket of homemade candies that he brought with him on the bus from Guadalajara and he was peddling them door to door. He was blind as a bat and his very, very pregnant wife led the way. I brought them over to my house and gave them a watch. They gave me candies.

There was an ancient lady, not far from my house, who was sweeping her entryway with a broom made from a bound cluster of reeds at the end of a stick. After I explained the watch and strapped it on her wrist, she looked up at me and said "What's the catch?"

In the end, between us all, we distributed 84 watches!

Safeway - Joco Style July 2009

Produce Prices In The Joco Mercado for July 29, 2009
Prices in pesos, prices by the kilo (2.2 lbs), and on this date we received
13.2 pesos to 1 US dollar. Do the math.

A couple of mornings a week I stroll the 5 short blocks from my house, exchanging pleasantries with my neighbors along the way, to el centro to do some food shopping. I like to start with fruits and vegetables at the daily mercado. Produce arrives to these stalls daily from Mercado Abastos (the giant wholesale produce center) in Guadalajara and is so fresh that most of it was picked the night before or that morning.

This is what part of the mercado looks like from above:



My favorite vendor is Sylvia.


My favorite butcher is Guillermo. I buy lean bacon thick cut to my preference and chicken-apple, chicken-mango sausage when he makes it.


My favorite chicken lady. Look how plump and yellow these chickens are, delicious too.
She grinds fresh, skinless, breast meat for 70 pesos/kilo.


Then on to the Oso Cremeria for turkey bacon, skim milk, sesame seed bagels,
and cheddar cheese. Saul does a great job of finding and carrying imported foods for us.
All I have to do is ask.


And to the Oso abarrote for some honey mustard and Caesar salad dressing.


A bag of bones for the dog.


And a bag of pan roasted peanuts in the shell for the walk home.


My shopping bags for today contained:

Ten -1/2 inch thick slices of bacon - 15 pesos or $1.13 US.
A kilo of ground skinless chicken breast 70 pesos/kilo or $2.65 US per lb.
2 - 1.5 liter salad dressings @ 44 pesos each 88 pesos or $6.66 US
dog bones 6 @ 1 peso each 6 pesos or $ .45 US
Oops, dog bones are only 6 for a peso or $ .10 US
peanuts 10 pesos 1/2 kilo10 pesos or $ .75 US
liter of skim milk 13.00 pesos or $ .98 US
1 papaya 6 pesos or $ .45 US
6 small bananas 6 pesos or $ .45 US
2 yellow potatoes 8 pesos or $ .60 US
large head of romaine lettuce 8 pesos or $ .60
6 STALKS of celery 5 pesos or $ .38
4 cucumbers 4 pesos or $ .30
6 carrots 5 pesos or $ .38

REVISED TOTAL: 195 pesos or $14.80 US

Uh Oh. This is not good. July 2009

I awoke this morning to an odd hacking noise that sounded like it was coming from the empty lot next door. I did what I usually do when I first detect the possibly of bad news - I ignored it.

Much later, after it started up again, I knew it was clearly coming from next door and it now sounded like someone was hacking away at my brick wall! I put on my most authoritative aloha shirt and marched right over there to see what was going on. After all, since I was the only one with the key to the gate, how could they have possibly gotten in? Wrong!

Not only were they in but 'they' were a team of men hacking and hewing the lot to shreds with their machetes.

"Qué tal, señor!" I hollered.
He kindly came and explained to me that they were working for the dueña (also MY dueña - who, for some reason, had neglected to remember to inform me of this) and they were clearing the land. I asked him if after they cleared the lot they would then cart the drying weeds elsewhere so the neighborhood hoodlums wouldn't be tempted to light it afire again this year and jeopardize my propane tank, house, and life again. That is when I heard the dreaded word "construcción".

"Whoa, construction?" I asked.
"Si, señora, he said, they are going to build".
"Here?"
"Si."
"What?"
"Una casa."
Groan.

Oh well. What can you do. I've spent my whole life trying to stay one step ahead of the bulldozers. More on 'Progress' later.

Could be worse. . .Claire is fighting the municipality of Jocotepec who wants to put a bypass highway in above our village and turn her front yard into an on-ramp. Larry is enduring the construction of an Eventos party place next door. Other friends are going to be living about 400 feet from this new highway up on the hill where they've built their dream compound. Jonnie is fighting the Chapala municipality who has elected to turn their heads while a land grabber steals her lake-front beach property and turns it into a marina!

Could be worse. . .and most importantly. . .I can always move!